literature

Chapter 1 Part 2 Bad News

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Blade Found Razor After Only A few minutes of looking Jail Bird Was Back in The Pride Lands Blade And Razor Returned To The Den They Found Vira Soked To The Bone She Was Shivering "Vira What Happened?" Blade Asked his Voice Was Full Of Concern Vira Looked At Blade Then She Spoke "I Found Luna's Sent But I Was Attacked By A Rough Lioness Who Took Luna I was Unable To Follow Her Because She Threw Me Into A River.."Vira looked At The Cold Stone Floor Lily Cried In The Corner Kane Trying To Comfurt Her.Blade Growled To Him Self.He was So Angery That He Was Going To Punish Kane Regardless Of Vira,Razor,And Lily Being There Blade Took Kane And Clawed Him Badly 3 or 4 Times Before One Of The Lioness Walked Into The Cave That Luna's Family Lived in.Blade Stoped And Looked At The Lioness "What Do You Want?" He Growled Anger Still In His Eyes.The Lioness Spoke "Blade I Have Spoted 3 Pride Landers Approching The Area What Are Your Orders?" Blade Was Silent For A Moment. "Gather The Lioness I Will Meet With The Pride Landers I Will Take 2 Lioness With Me now GO!" The Lioness Dissappered Out Of The Cave To Get The 2 Lioness.
((With Luna))
"put Me Down!"Luna Growled Struggling To Get Free. The Lioness Simplely Growled "Would You Rather I Feed You To The Hyenas?"Luna Looked At The Lioness It Was To Dark To Tell What her Fur Color Was. Luna Remained Silent For A Long While She Took In The Different Surrondings She Didnt Recodnize Anyhting.The Lioness Finally Stoped And Droped Luna. Luna Jumped To Her Paws And Looked Around The Place Was Crawling With Hyenas Luna Was getting Uneasy.The Lioness Who Brough Luna There Began To Walk Away Telling Luna That If She Wanted To Live She Should Stay Were She Was.Moments Later A Big Dull Gold Lion Appered  His Eyes A Demonic White He Had No Pupils.Luna Shifted Uneasy As The Lion Walked Around Her. He Stoped Behind Her And Spoke "Dont Be Afraid Little Cub Im Not Going To Hurt You...Much"He Laugh When He Said The Last Part.Luna Spoke "What Do You Want From Me And Why Am I Here?" She Hoped To get Some Anwser But The Lion Remainded Silent."Cub You Dont Have Room To Ask Questions Here Snaped The lioness Who Brought Luna Here.There Were Bones And Corpes Every where.Luna Shivered It Was Strangly Cold There.The Dull Gold Lion Spoke"You Have A Choice Cub You Can Either Leave Here As A Corpes Or Stay Here With Us And Recive Everything You Want....
((Back With Luna's Family))
Blade Was A Foot From The Pride Landers "What Are You Doing In MY Land".The Leader Of The Pride Lands Kizer.Kizer Growled At Blade "Blade This Is Your Last Warning Stay Off The Pride Lands Or I Will End Your Life"Blade Simply Laugh and The Lioness That Came Joined In The Laughter Which One Made Kizer More Angery.Blade Stoped And Spoke "I'll Keep My Lions From Your land If You Keep Yours From Ours".Kizer Look At Blade Confused What Do You Mean None Of My Lions Have Left The Pride lands".Blade Turned And Began Walking Away The 2 Lioness Follow Blade Called Over His Shoulder "Perhaps You Should Keep Your CubsOut Of My Land...Blade Returned To The Cave And Greeted His Mate Vira.Vira Was Curled Up With Lily.Lily Looked At Her Mother And Spoke"Mommy When Will Luna Come Home?"
Vira With A Sad Look In Her Eyes Only Said "I Dont Know Lily".Kane and Razor Sat In The Coner Of The Cave Kane Was Not To Badly Hurt But He Knows Now That He Shouldnt Have Chase Luna Away.
((With Luna))
Luna Shifted More UnNeved Then Before Now Her Life Was In Danger But It Seemed As If The Dull Gold Lion Knew Her Troubles And Her Pains.She Hesataide For A Moment Then Spoke "The Only Thing I Want Is To.....Get Back At My Brother Kane For All The Pain He Has Caused Me"
The Dull Gold Lion Smiled Wickedly"My Name Is Fenril...Welcome To Your New Family Luna" The Dull Gold Lion Roared Followed By The Lioness Who Luna Learned To Be Named Blood.Luna Joined In There Roaring With Her Own Even Though She Was Learning How To She Had A Good Roar Already.They Stoped Roaring And Fenril Showed Luna Where She Would Sleep Just As A Bad Storm Started.
Part 2

New Characters Fenril,Blood And Kizer

Base Picture By :iconxkelbix:

Part 1 >>[link]

Part 3 >>[link]
© 2011 - 2024 Agony-Wolf
Comments14
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Kristanni20X6's avatar
I'm sorry but this is kinda hard to read. First of all, please don't have the beginning letter of each word capitalized. Second of all, when using numbers in a story, spell the word out and don't just put the number down. Finally, punctuation marks are missing (such as periods and quotation marks), spaces are missing (such as after periods), and everything seems to be a run-on sentence. Also, when a character speaks, a new paragraph should begin. In between paragraphs should also be a space.

The story itself seems interesting but I bet if you improve on your layout, punctuation, and capitalization, your story would be even better. Proofread over your work or hire a beta. Trust me, I'm a beta reader for one of my friend's story on deviantart/fanfiction.net. It will greatly improve your work.